Matrix of Alpha Edge Metrics
Matrix of Alpha Edge Metrics
Alright, buckle up, because Xcel Energy's about to stick it to us again. They're asking for a nearly 10% rate hike in Colorado. Yeah, you heard that right. Ten freakin' percent. They filed this little gem with the Colorado Public Utilities Commission (PUC) on Friday, looking for an extra $355.6 million in base rate revenue.
So, what's the justification this time? Infrastructure upgrades and "clean energy" investments since 2022. Give me a break. It's always the same song and dance. "We're doing it for the environment!" Translation: "We need more of your money to line our pockets while pretending to care."
If the PUC actually rolls over and approves this garbage, the average residential bill jumps about $10 a month. From $100 to $110. That's what, another $120 a year? For what? So they can pat themselves on the back for installing a few solar panels while raking in record profits? Seriously, is there no limit to how much these utility companies think they can get away with? And small businesses? They get the shaft too, with similar rate increases. Large industrial customers get off a bit easier, with "only" a 7% to 9% hike. Thanks, Xcel, for the generosity.
Robert Kenney, President of Xcel Energy Colorado, is trying to spin this by saying their bills have been 37% below the national average, and below the Colorado average. Okay, great. So they were ripping us off slightly less than everyone else. Does that make it okay to suddenly jack up the rates now? Offcourse not. It's like saying, "Hey, I only punched you in the face half as hard as I could have, so you should be grateful when I punch you even harder next time!"
Oh, but don't worry, Xcel's expanding energy assistance programs, adding $10 million of their own funds. How magnanimous of them! It's like a pickpocket giving you back a dollar after stealing your wallet. That $10 million is a tiny fraction of the $355.6 million they're trying to squeeze out of us. And let's be real, how much of that "assistance" actually makes it to the people who need it most, and how much gets lost in bureaucratic red tape?
The PUC will start its review in December. That's when the fun really begins. We'll get the usual dog-and-pony show of "stakeholder testimony" and "public comment hearings." As if they actually care what we think. But hey, Joseph Pereira, deputy director of the Colorado Office of the Utility Consumer Advocate, called the size of the proposed increase "a surprise" and said it reflects a troubling trend. At least someone is paying attention. He's urging people to complain to the PUC and their reps. Good luck with that.
So, if you want to voice your displeasure, you can submit public comments at the PUC website, email dora_puc_website@state.co.us, mail the Colorado Public Utilities Commission at 1560 Broadway, Suite 250, Denver, CO 80202, or call (303) 869-3490. The Proceeding No is 25AL -0494E, if you wanna get technical. The new rates, if approved, take effect in August 2026. Plenty of time to bend over and get ready, I guess.
But here's the real question: Are these "clean energy" investments even worth it? Are we just throwing money at a problem that can't be solved, while enriching corporations in the process? And what happens when Xcel decides those investments need upgrading? Another 10% hike? 20%? Where does it end?
I mean, come on. It's a blatant money grab disguised as environmentalism. Xcel is betting we're too stupid or too apathetic to fight back. Let's prove them wrong. Maybe. Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here, expecting a corporation to act in the public's best interest instead of its own.